Posted 10-10-2001 at 18:40:23
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My name is AndyH and I have been a lurker and occasional poster here for about a year or so. I have really enjoyed comaradery of this board and the YTMAG Tractor board and have decided to come "out of the closet" so to speak. To start with I thought I'd share a chuckle. This is an actual "Out of the Office" e-mail I sent to my mangement and co-workers. Needless to say, that since I "work" in Chicago I received quite a few confused looks from the other staff
Figuered we all need to lighten up during the current situation.
Sorry for the long post.
I will be out of the office from Monday September 24th thru Monday October 1st. I will return Tuesday Oct. 2nd.
I will be on maneuvers with Company A of the Liberty Township detachment of the combined forces Vernon and Crawford counties militia in the proud State of Wisconsin.
Preparations are underway to defend the Kickapoo River valley from maurauding hordes of pagan desert devil invaders. To this extent arms and ammunition are being stockpiled, that is if the Walmart Supercenter in Viroqua will accept Lester Briggs check for the shotgun shells.
Our motorized brigade has been practicing on Davey Klitz's pasture since he got the cattle out of there. The brigade consists of two John Deere 4020 tractors, one Massey Ferguson TO tractor, assorted International Harvestor Farmall's, and the Swiggum brothers 4x4 pickups with the ATV's in the back. Danny Deever has six fully loaded "Honey Wagons" (Wisconsin speak for manure spreader or turd hearse) in case we are forced to use biological weapons.
We are especially proud of Roger Young's Newholland combine that he attached a propane tank and three inch galvanized pipe to the corn head for use as a flame thrower. If the battle fizzles out we can always pop the corn left in Peter Mason's corn crib with this device.
Marty Krandle has has been training the Cub Scout Pack 22 in the use of semi-automatic weapons. We intend to press them into service assisting at the road blocks and checkpoints we will establish on Gore Hollow Drive and Chadwick Hollow (if Jim McPherson let's us cross his field). Proper identification will be required to enter secure area. This identificationcan being in the form of Driver's License, Deer Permit, or a "Buy Ten Pounds, Get One Free" punch card from the Springdale Cheese plant in Richland Center.
The ladies of the Unites Methodist Church have been very supportive of our efforts. Actually, I think they are relieved to have the men out from under their feet now that harvest is done. To this extent they have supplied us with field rations of zuchinni bread, canned tomatoes, and some sort of peanut butter cookie that Mavis Dregne always makes for these occasions. These will be supplemented with our proud soldiers foraging for beer and beef jerky at the Viola Kwik Stop (where the motto is "No Credit, Don't Even Ask")
I will return to my duties, perhaps somewhat battle scarred (or hung over) knowing that I did my part to defend the Cheddar Curtain.
God Bless America
Liberty Township Volunteers