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Country Discussion Topics
To add your comments to this topic, click on one of the 'Reply' links below.

Moving to the Country
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Rene    Posted 12-09-2003 at 00:14:11       [Reply]  [Send Email]
I'm alittle at a loss here and thought I would post this to get some feedback...the good, the bad, the ugly....the truth. :-)

We're planning on moving out west; we're beginning our house search, again, in January. I've read quite a few things on this board, as well as others ofcourse, that "outsiders" aren't welcome into rural communities. Why is this?

....and why would an "outsider" (what is that anyway? *shrug*) want to change anything once they got to wherever they were going? If you want to change something there, why go there in the first place? Why not just stay where you are in that case?

When does an "outsider" become a true member of the community? What do you have to prove to be considered "in"?



dav 50 8n    Posted 12-09-2003 at 12:31:41       [Reply]  [No Email]
I'm one of these newcomers. About 7 years ago we moved back to my wife's hometown in No. Calif. Still working on fitting in. Some may never let you. Oh well.

Lot's of ex-SF Bay area/Silicon Valley/Orange Co. folk up here, too. Lot's more people up here than when my wife was a kid.

Still working on being a local.

I like the "be the neighbor you want to have" attitude.

Be willing to learn from and show respect toward the locals. They have a wealth of informaiton on local history and culture.

Try and fit in.

Be willing to be laughed at when you ask them silly questions like, "Why does my power pole buzz like that?" Answer: Bugs...every summer.

Buy a generator and be able to heat your home in the wintertime when power goes out for days on end. That's the way it is.

Join a group/church and participate in it.

Avoid references to where you used to live and how wonderful it was to have parks/sidewalks/curbs,etc. everywhere.

Dirt isn't too bad. It's bad on the carpets, though.

If you can, shop locally.

Good luck, and enjoy it! Try to enjoy the new place, the people, and learn from them.

I think when people understand that you're tryign ot fit in, you'll be ok.


Cosmo    Posted 12-09-2003 at 10:50:49       [Reply]  [No Email]
Down South we like to be spoken to and waved at even by total strangers. If you are in your yard and your neighbor drives by, throw up your hand and smile instead of putting your nose in the air. You may need him to pull you out of the ditch one day.


Rene    Posted 12-09-2003 at 12:26:43       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Good one! I love that about the small towns I was in in Montana back in September, especially Ennis...I didn't know those people at all but there were more than a few who didn't care and waved and smiled and I did the same back.... :-)
Its been a l-o-n-g time since that happened and it's never happened around the town I'm in...people don't come out of their houses, out of fear. Sad.


BB    Posted 12-09-2003 at 10:18:08       [Reply]  [Send Email]
I don't think you will have any problem. Those that are not accepted are those that blindly go in expecting some idylic new existance and find that the country doesn't have all the luxurys and conviences that were used to and then complain about it. And whatever you do, don't say "we didn't do it like that back in younameit".


Rene    Posted 12-09-2003 at 12:28:38       [Reply]  [Send Email]
you wrote: And whatever you do, don't say "we didn't do it like that back in younameit".

******************
NEVER! We wanna come back HERE and say "we don't do it like that out west" ;-)


Charlie    Posted 12-09-2003 at 08:36:05       [Reply]  [Send Email]
"When does an "outsider" become a true member of the community?"--- When your clothes look and smell like theirs and wonder how you ever made it so many years without a pickup


Rene    Posted 12-09-2003 at 12:30:37       [Reply]  [Send Email]
you mean a dress, high heels and loads of perfume won't fit in? TEASING! *ha* I've been begging for a pickup for years...maybe after the move, I'll get one. ;-)


deadcarp    Posted 12-09-2003 at 07:27:58       [Reply]  [No Email]
outsider? i can offer an example of outsider rhetoric - "you brought me here to kill me - i should have never listened to you" fact is - nobody twists anybody's leg to move anywhere. this is the 21st century for pity's sake and never have any group of people been more free than we are today. if your mate threatens to move with or without you - well he just offered you a golden choice didn't he? is he worth your tagging along? so anywhere you go, anything you do is your load to carry.


secondly, if i see a canoeist dragging a cellphone, boom box, portable tv and laptop down the river, they're missing the whole point. those things won't feed you or keep you warm or prevent you from drowning. sure they can guarantee a trip without wild game but they darn sure don't impress bears or snapping turtles. i'd probably call them outsiders.


you won't see grafitti on trees cuz those people would be scared to death in the woods - that's not their turf. so they get bored and in the process of learning about life, they ruin their own neighborhood instead. so be it.


you have a gathering of 2000 people around a city, you'll be left with truckloads of trash. at our local fishing derby, the cleanup crew was lucky to find half a bag.


country people are self-sufficient. that's "self" as in me. not my family, friends or brokers
- just me. we get along with others as required, use neighbors wisely and treat them like our lives depended on them but every member of a country group can hold his own. as almost anywhere, the more friends you have, the more money you'll have. so while you're making choices, decide what you're trying to get away from and what you'd like to bring along. that way your world will be more acceptable. the real secret is to enjoy life anyway, wherever you end up living. :)


Rene    Posted 12-09-2003 at 12:35:29       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Thank you for taking the time to write all that out...its appreciated and will be taken to heart. :-)


kraig WY    Posted 12-09-2003 at 06:41:11       [Reply]  [No Email]
Where out west, the west is nice and friendly, you'll be ok


Rene    Posted 12-09-2003 at 12:44:17       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Originally, we were looking for a home in Wyoming, Montana and Idaho....now we're just concentrating on Montana. We've been to West Yellowstone, Ennis, Twin Bridges, Virginia City, Dillon, Bozeman, Whitehall, Butte and Thompson Falls. We found a home, back in September, in Whitehall but we weren't told until after we signed the buy/sell that the foundation was WOOD *yikes* (appraiser told us) so we got out of that one before it was too late. We're going back out there in January to start looking again.

Where are you? :-)


kraigWY    Posted 12-09-2003 at 14:07:47       [Reply]  [No Email]
10 miles East of Newcastle, WY. My back pasture butts up against South Dakota, in the Black Hills


Ron/PA    Posted 12-09-2003 at 05:14:35       [Reply]  [No Email]
Rene, the fact that you're asking makes me think that you'll fit in just fine. It's the ones that move in then start screaming. We had a fellow build a very large home near here, he borders a poultry farm. All of a sudden he's screaming to the borough council about the smell of chicken manure,, seems his dog likes to go to that property and roll in it, then come home and jump in bed with them?? They petitioned the state to shut the farm down, at least the state told them to kiss off. THAT'S the kind of newbie that upsets the whole neighborhood.
It's not all one sided, you get some of the old neighbors that are total butt heads as well.
Just go on out there and be the kind of neighbor that you would like to have, you'll do fine.
Later
Ron


Rene    Posted 12-09-2003 at 12:46:05       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Someone actually moved next to a poultry farm, complained about the smell (obviously the dog liked it *L*) and then had the gall to try and get the farmer kicked out?!?!? Incredible. *shaking my head*


PS    Posted 12-09-2003 at 05:21:16       [Reply]  [No Email]
As to what's an outsider? Thats the people presently living in someone else's house.
You own it, and pay for it, but someone around there still remembers when it was Fred's farm, and it will be fred's farm for along time to come.
However after you've outlived all your neighbors, and are about 90 years old, they'll start calling it Rene's farm, FINALLY you won't be the new kid on the block any longer.
Ron


Cleats    Posted 12-09-2003 at 05:08:23       [Reply]  [No Email]
Back in the forties and fifties there were more people per sq. mile than there are here today, around here. Personally, I prefered that situation. They were good people and all farm families. Those people have disapeared from the country scene. That happened because of the governmen's cheap food policy. The few that survived, did so by there wits.
Most of the people that are now coming back to the country are doing so on money made much more easily. I know this is true because I have worked in the city from time to time, just to make my farm payments. I have no problem with any of this except that most of the people who come from the city have a shallower value system based on an easier achieved standard of living. Frankly, they fail to understand the ability of the country folks and take a condensing attitude all too quick. Of course, this shows up in the local politics.
I sold one farm and moved 20 miles to another over thirty years ago and I moved here with respect for the ways of the people that I still hold today. I refrain from inserting my effect into their seniority rights as much as possible even today. You must understand that many things move much slower than in the city and as often as not this is a superior way of doing things.




Rene    Posted 12-09-2003 at 12:49:44       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Slower....yes, give it to me. :-) I can't say I can totally relate to the "money made easier" aspect...although I do know now, after my stint in Wash, DC for the money, that money ain't everything. Yes, I know we need it....but a huge salary doesn't make people happy. I never asked nor prayed to be rich...just comfortable and happy. I think I can have that where we plan to go.


KellyGa    Posted 12-09-2003 at 05:01:03       [Reply]  [No Email]
Rene, I am moving to the country, don't be afraid! Country folks are the best people in the world. I can't wait to sink my toes into the life I have wanted and needed for so long. Funny, I can hit it off with people pretty easy, so I will get along fine out there. But I still want to be alone when I want to be alone, secluded, ya know? No booming radios or people hollering and screaming. No traffic coming and going all the time. No sales people or Jehovahs coming to the door to sell me or save me. It will be nice, I know it.


Rene    Posted 12-09-2003 at 12:53:52       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Hi Kelly :-)

Where you moving to? Yep, we want all those things too....we would appreciate our friends, ofcourse, but we also like each other and like being with just ourselves as well. The traffic and the noise are killers here....hate it. bleck.


Jerry    Posted 12-09-2003 at 08:25:47       [Reply]  [No Email]
sorry Kelly, I dont think you'll be be shed of the jehovas witness. I live way out in the sticks and they still find me, and also get some shyster salemens now and then trying to sell me meat. I says look all around. What do you see? (beef on the hoof) Why do you think I ought to buy meat from you?lol


bulldinkie    Posted 12-09-2003 at 04:05:16       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Just Be Yourself dont worry if youre in who cares. Youll love the country.


Les    Posted 12-09-2003 at 02:38:08       [Reply]  [No Email]
Some examples of why new people might be resented in a town:

"We want the town to pick up the rubbish."
"It gets awful dark out here. We need streetlights."
"The road should be bare and dry as soon as the snowstorm ends."
"You mean we have to have our own well and septic system?"
"Do they have to start running their logging equipment at 6 A.M.?"
"My electricity was off twice last year."
"Can't you do something about the dust? Why don't you pave that road?"

This only scratches the surface.


Rene    Posted 12-09-2003 at 12:59:47       [Reply]  [Send Email]
"We want the town to pick up the rubbish."

**Be a good neighbor...if you see it, pick it up, that'll take care of that.

"It gets awful dark out here. We need streetlights."

**HAHAHAhahaha

"The road should be bare and dry as soon as the snowstorm ends."

**We would prefer to take out the snowmobiles anyway!

"You mean we have to have our own well and septic system?"

**City water sucks! We have to buy bottled water now anyway.

"Do they have to start running their logging equipment at 6 A.M.?"

**I'm up early anyway and there may be mornings when we'll have to be out chopping wood or making a rukus too.

"My electricity was off twice last year."

**My Husband makes all our candles...we'll be fine.

"Can't you do something about the dust? Why don't you pave that road?"

**Roll up the window in the truck till you pass...eventually, it'll pass.


Pitch    Posted 12-09-2003 at 02:34:24       [Reply]  [No Email]
Are you from a city as in apartment dweller suburbia or a neighborhood? If your from a residential neighborhood other than population density things may not be all that different.The trouble comes when folks look and see all this pastoral beauty and think that it is reality. They move out here and get a rude awakening. Why is that combine out running at 11:00 pm making all that noise and dust,What the h#ll is that guy spraying next to my back lawn? Or "sure only three acres of this land is mine but there are 300 around me that I can do what I want on cause the actual owner does'nt seem to be doing much with it. Then the new comers decide that it is to smelly/noisey/etc and try to start changing things to suit their own ideals and the trouble begins. As far as fitting in , country people are often accused of being standoffish , but that is usually not the case. Remember that in an urban area you have to be able to get along with hundreds or thousands of neighbors and stifle your own personality to some extent to do it. I live in the northeast so our density is much higher than say in the west, but on my mile stretch of road there are only 3 other families or a total of 8 other people that I need to get along with. Sure I wish the next door guy did'nt have the 8 or ten junk vehicles out back of his place but he does and that is his business.There are probably things about me that he doen't like also.
Probably the best thing you can do to become known and accepted is to join a church and become active go to the socials go to the fire dept fund raisers if you have kids or even if you don't attend the school functions. It may take a couple of years but you will fit in. Remember you have to fit the country, the country does'nt have to fit you.


Donna from Mo    Posted 12-09-2003 at 00:59:30       [Reply]  [No Email]
Once you live in any neighborhood and prove yourself to be a good neighbor, you'll be accepted. I think the people on this board have had problems with city people moving to the country, then wanting rid of all the things that make it the country! For instance, they don't want someone raising hogs next door because they stink, etc. We moved to this community in 1975; we were told, "Those old Germans will never accept you." Well, I'll admit it took awhile, but we did gain acceptance. The way to have a friend is to be one. Practice the Golden Rule and you will be welcomed in most any community.


Les    Posted 12-09-2003 at 02:40:57       [Reply]  [No Email]
Hey Donna, my 12 year old granddaughter wrote a cute poem. If I get time I'll post it for you. It's called "Cathleen the Collector".


Donna    Posted 12-09-2003 at 02:49:26       [Reply]  [No Email]
I'd love to see it. I can't seem to write poems about anything other than my newly acquired horse, lately.


Les    Posted 12-09-2003 at 03:27:56       [Reply]  [No Email]
Maybe I'll have time this evening to type it out. It's all about her books.


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