Posted 12-27-2003 at 17:06:22
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A friend sent thee to me, I thought they were pretty funny, thought I would share them with y'all :)
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah." The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each childs work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The little girl replied "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "Honer" they Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
Posted 12-28-2003 at 02:05:47
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Thank God for the children..:-), you can never stop learning from them.
When my 25y/old daughter was close to 3 she was the flower girl on my friend's wedding. When it was her turn to come in the isle, followed by the bride, all sober and business like she would drop petals on the runway carpet as she had been instructed to do. Halfway, she ran out of petals; the look in her eyes and her overall expression were of total crisis. Looked around and made eye contact with me, when I was about to wisper something to her she turned to one of the benches and snatched a bunch of petals from the flower arrangement on it, then next to the second bench, when she was done with the third one the look on her face was priceless and she could now resume her stroll down the isle where the perplex priest waited for them. Needless to say that that church never had a more loud crowd ever.
Now she works as the executive public relations director for one of the top land development companies in PR.
Posted 12-27-2003 at 17:42:39
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my grandson is 2 so he doesn't talk much yet, but he's pretty good at making his point. the other day lee and angie were spatting about something and he'd heard enough i guess. walked up, pointed his pudgy finger at angie and yelled "ayy!" then turned to his dad and repeated the command. then went back to playing.
well i guess they got told! :)