Posted 01-08-2004 at 15:12:33
[Reply] [No Email]
....where you can lie like this?
Jake wanted to go to a freind's house and I told him, yes, he could, after he did his chores. Among which is collecting the eggs. I asked him, Jake, where's the eggs?
"There wasn't any."
"What do you mean?"
"None as in zero, not any, no eggs out there." All in a big hurry to go to Josh's.
"How do we go from almost three dozen a day to none?"
"I don't know, maybe because it's been cold?" Looking me dead in my eye.
Okay it has been cold, but I knew better. There is never 'none' eggs, but I was too busy to go check at the moment. Well I just came back from the hen house. There was eggs. Bunches of them. Brown ones, green ones, blue ones, white ones, even a litle bitty cherry tomato sized one laying right in the dang doorway that he would have probably stepped on with his big stupid foot had he gone out there. Looked like somebody hired a blind man to hide the eggs for an easter egg hunt. They were right there in plain sight!
So I got him on the radio and asked him the question that I started this thread with. The fart.
"Well, I told you I was just playing with you, I told you I would get them later."
"The heck you did, you never said anything of the kind. Did you think I wouldn't miss three dozen eggs? Or raise an eyebrow when you brought in six dozen tomorrow night? Ya big dummy!"
Yuk yuk yuk.
"Ahm sorry." Yuk, yuk, yuk.
"Yeah I bet you are, cause you're going to start walking home right now and collect these eggs before dark."
"Uh! Right NOW? Me and Josh are playing football!"
"Yep, right now. Now doncha wish you'd a done it before you left?"
"Awww...Jake! Get movin'!"
If those eggs had been left to lay in there until tomorrow night the chickens would have walked and crapped all over them and broken half of them and by this time tomorrow I would have had a mess.
Since it's about time to boil and peel about eight dozen eggs for the pigs, I guess he can do that too. The fart.