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Wife wants to live in town!!!!!????
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ROB    Posted 11-20-2001 at 11:52:15       [Reply]  [Send Email]
I grew up on a small farm (50 acres) in eastern Nebraska just outside of Omaha. My wife grew up on 5 acres on the edge of a small town in central Nebraska. When we got married (7 years ago) I had always told her someday we would live in the country, and she agreed. Well, we moved back to Nebraska, and after looking for two years I finally found the place! 33 acres (18 dryland)(15 pasture with a creek) perfect! And only 12 miles from town. 22000 people. We bought it and now are trying to decide on house plans. But she can't stop complaining about how far it is to town and how she will give it a couple years, but if she does'nt like it she's moving to town. We used to live in a large city, for 5 years and it was 18 miles across town to the mall, but that did'nt bother her any. I try to tell her that yes there will be disadvantages, but the advantages far outweigh any disadvantages. Our kids will love it, and we will have room to do what we want without people watching our every move. So my question is, is she as nuts as she seems to me, and do you think she'll come to her senses once we get moved out their, in a new house no less. By the way, before this we have gotten along very well, so this isn't draging on from some other problem.

Man with a Crazy Wife in Nebraska

Deerewife    Posted 11-23-2001 at 17:47:41       [Reply]  [No Email]

Give your wife lots of love and time to come around.
I was a southern city girl and DH moved me and a brand new baby over 1000 miles to rural Wisconsin. Talk about culture shock! I went from never having been more than 5 minutes from a mall to being an hour and a half from the nearest mall (45 min to W-Mart). I had a really hard time believing that it could snow so much anywhere. The first couple of years were very hard on me, but eventually it got better. Now 9 years later, I wouldn't leave my little gravel road for any amount of money.

Do give the little woman plenty of input on the house, she'll be much happier if she feels that you are trying to give her her "dream house". Encourage her to do thing around the property- plant flowers, decorate, and add those personal touches. If she expresses an interest in added features, try to give it to her if it's reasonable. DH helped me get flower beds ready and built me the nicest closeline in the area :) You want her to feel the same pride in ownership that you do.

Another thing that helped me was becoming involved in the community. I volunteered to help at the kids' school and with their scout troops. I'm fairly shy, so this helped me get out and make new local friends and aquaintances.

Good luck

Fred Tx    Posted 11-21-2001 at 12:23:07       [Reply]  [No Email]
See above.

OW -- might see the problem --    Posted 11-20-2001 at 22:12:49       [Reply]  [No Email]
I'm hoping that "I found the perfect place" should read "we", okay Jim? Remember, the kitchen and telephone moved too.

I'll tell ya -- our 10,000 lakes are surrounded by "perfect places" that GUYS picked, cleared & built quaint cabins on. One summer of relentless mosquito bites was usually enough to empty them. Shame too - all they had to do was go inside before dark & shut the yardlites off at nite. They're overgrown & aren't worth much now - if only he had consulted the rest of the family to begin with, he'd still have his retirement money.

Little mistakes like that sure make the real estate people happy though! Almost as good as a big-buck Bed & Breakfast pipedream - heh heh heh

OW - oops    Posted 11-20-2001 at 22:15:47       [Reply]  [No Email]
sorry Rob. Got my names mixed up again - darn memory

Old Warrior

Cowboy Joe    Posted 11-20-2001 at 15:42:45       [Reply]  [No Email]
Are you sure you really love her?

Spence -You Too!!!??    Posted 11-20-2001 at 15:08:04       [Reply]  [No Email]
Just change some of the year amounts you mention and you,ve got my situation. I found out the answer is a good running car in the wife's name.

Every once and a while she's got to get away
for the shopping malls which is OK and I don't make a big deal of it. She'll have an evening out at the fancy restaurants with the gals on occasion.

The kids should be young when you move to the country as trying to get a teen to like it will
be hopeless.

Dreamweaver    Posted 11-20-2001 at 14:58:01       [Reply]  [No Email]
Rob, I say if you treat a woman right, she'll live with you in a pup tent in The Artic Circle.

Somehow, treating a woman    Posted 11-23-2001 at 11:13:12       [Reply]  [No Email]
right, often means NEVER even thinking of ASKing her to live in a pup tent... ANYWHERE. :-)

But clearly you mean that a couple that is VERY considerate of each others wants, needs and desires is a couple that will work HARD at making each other happy. Even if that is doing something that they, by THEMSELF, would never do since having their partner happy gives them TRUE happiness.



Dreamweaver    Posted 11-23-2001 at 11:23:32       [Reply]  [No Email]
Yes Larry, that's exactly what I mean. Thanks for putting it so much better than me.

Phyllis    Posted 11-20-2001 at 17:23:09       [Reply]  [Send Email]
That is 100 percent correct DW!!

Cowboy Joe    Posted 11-20-2001 at 15:44:30       [Reply]  [No Email]
Make sure there's enough body heat to keep you warm or HOT.

big fred    Posted 11-20-2001 at 13:53:32       [Reply]  [No Email]
Best advice is to make sure she gets acquainted with Mr Drucker down at the general store and Mrs Ziffel next door. Once she gets to know that cute little Arnold Ziffel, ain't no way she's gonna want to move back to town.

Oops, sorry, I got real life confused with teevee again. Dang I hate it when that happens.

Jim (Mi)    Posted 11-20-2001 at 12:06:09       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Although every woman is different (Obviously), my wife was a subdivision girl. Always in major towns. I was a 3/4 acre guy growing up. We moved out last December to the country. I was very hesitant to go out so far because of her. Now she can't stand visiting her dad because it is too much city. She definately misses city conveniences ie, CITY WATER, the propane bill almost keeled us over last winter, we drive together to work, and I drop her off half way, but my trip is 100 miles round trip. But she definately says she will take the minor inconveniences once I lick my water problem. My sister was a little miss city priss, and now she is telling my parents to get out of the stinkin city, and come live by us. She said she would never go back. Does she like camping? My wife loved it before. I told her to think of how relaxed she gets when we drive to go camping. Then I told her that same feeling would be everyday, and she agreed to try, and seems very happy. We only live about 10 miles from a big city though, so shopping is not that far away.

Les...fortunate    Posted 11-20-2001 at 12:00:09       [Reply]  [Send Email]
I have qualifications to answer your questions since I know Cowboy Joe through this forum.
Question #1: Probably
Question #2: Probably not
You have my sympathy.

Cowboy Joe    Posted 11-20-2001 at 15:46:50       [Reply]  [No Email]
Rob - You have my complete sympathy.

Hogman    Posted 11-20-2001 at 13:21:32       [Reply]  [No Email]
For the most part I'll agree with Les. BUT, I brought My wife born and lived only in the LA basin back here to the hills. No running water,one room cabin, to Me it was just turning the clock back 50 years,no problem. To Her it was a cultural shock of massive humunguness!!
I did provide Her with the finest outhouse in S/W Mo except for running water that is. Carpeted floor,heat,venilation and a genuwine city type seat complete with lid.

More then anything I provided Her with a lot of love. Now this may or may not work. Took Me 5 years to get a very nice home built and She stuck with Me all the way.
Now 17 years later She would scream bloody murder and mabe commit it if I even mentioned moving to some town.
It's 35 miles to the nearest "real"store,4 to the little local 3 car garage type store W/ gas pump and P.O. 3/4 mile to the nearest neighbor and life is wonderful.

We are each differant unto ourselves,how can We as friends advise on this. I know one couple that ,moved way out in the nowhere,His wife told Me later that She totaly hated it till one morning hanging out the wash standing knee deep in snow it of a sudden hit Her that this was the most butiful place She had ever seen. Said with that relization she knew She wanted to spend Her life right there. Made for a lot happier couple after that too.. JMTCW

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