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How many REAL men out there.
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Jon(WI)    Posted 01-20-2004 at 15:38:25       [Reply]  [No Email]
By "REAL" I mean husbands at any age that help with house chores as in doing the laundry, taking out garbage, dirty dishes, toilet bowl, general cleaning up when something is out of place, vacuuming when have the time. Helping the little lady off to work if yourself, retired or out of work + many more small chores that makes her life a little easier. I do the above, sort of a 50/50 proposition I figure. Am I being taken advantage of or just a good husband?

kandace baucum    Posted 01-21-2004 at 06:51:14       [Reply]  [Send Email]
i just have to share this story about a woman i use to work with......a couple of years ago she married a man that had worked for the same company we worked for and then went back to truck driving, she had a little girl, about 5 years old, when they married from a previous marriage...and she was about 4 months pregnant at the wedding.
well, a few months before they got married...we were at work, and she came back from lunch soo excited. she had gotten her income tax return in, i can't recall how much it was, but it was enough for a down payment on a house...she had been renting up til this point and wanted to buy. this is when i found out that it was totally up to her to pay for the house. they slpit the what's mine is yours and all was "this is mine and that is yours". it was her responsibility to pay for the house, her car, phone, cable, kids' stuff, and the groceries, and he takes care of the rest (which didn't leave much). after the baby was born.....hubby refused to stay home alone with her, so the oldest daughter would have to stay home, too if wife didn't take the baby. this was so the oldest could change diapers and feed her, because hubby WOULD NOT do it.
i just can't see how the wife puts up with it. we moved from there three years ago, and i haven't heard much about them.......just that he's been out of work alot.
if my husband was like that we woulnd't be together, that's for sure. but i have it pretty good. i get to stay home with my kids....which i love.....and he brings home the bacon. but he also helps out with stuff around the house. everything is "what's mine is yours". which sometimes bothers me since i don't make the money for any of it. but, i don't want other people raising my kids. i have nothing against people who put their kids in daycare, that's their business. but i don't like daycares, and you can't really tust sitters in your home either. the way i figure it, we are living comfortably enough on one income for now. and when all of our kids are in school, i'll go to work during school hours, so we can have a little extra soending money (i figure we'll need it the older the kids get), and we'll have a bigger cushion in savings, which is always a good thing. that long enough? lol

jf    Posted 01-21-2004 at 08:39:19       [Reply]  [No Email]
never understood seperate accounts for money. you hit the nail on the head on childcare. Too many people claim not to be able to live off one salary yet they are the same ones who contribute their salary to Ford, Lowes, Sears, wa,mart and many others. Yet don't know how there kids will go to college-instead of starting a 529/educatioanl account they need that new vehicle. It is a matter of priorities and you have them right. keep fighting.

kandace baucum    Posted 01-21-2004 at 08:44:06       [Reply]  [Send Email]
why, thank you, jf. :)

Redneck    Posted 01-21-2004 at 03:52:03       [Reply]  [No Email]
You mean everyone doesn't do that?

Dieselrider    Posted 01-21-2004 at 05:34:12       [Reply]  [No Email]
Now don't go gettin yourself in trouble by asking for a raise or anything.

jf    Posted 01-21-2004 at 03:01:44       [Reply]  [No Email]
been a stay at home dad for 6 months now besides farming on the side, home schooling, and taking care of rental property-works good for us. My job description is to feed and care for 2 young kids one is 4 the other 1, change diapers, cook meals, clean house, wash and put away clothes, grocery shop, pay bills, manage household, manage yard and garden, manage herd of beef cows with calves, manage forages, manage cash flow and debt management. The lsit goes on and on. I have a great deal of respect for stay at home mom/parents in general. We in this country talk out of both sides of our mouths about the importance of our children. Have them 6 weeks later lease them out so someone else can raise them and instill there values and educate them. Then we wonder why our kids turn out the way they do. When parents sacrifice there kids well being for a new truck, bigger house, nicer clothes, etc. it sets the tone. In short we as a nation should lead by example. I did a great deal of house work before I chose to stay at home. My wife can roll bale hay, feed cows, put up fence, etc.-both of us can do all jobs in and out of house. Marriage is like a team of mules, both people have to be pulling in the same direction. My biggest issue with staying at home is from society. When someone finds out you stay at home(especially men) they say you are a loafer and them women are totally amazed I am out with 2 little kids doing grocery shopping. Of course this is from men who never changed a diaper or could not turn on a washer. Wonder why our divorce rate is so high. Like our rentaers he has never!!!! stayed with his kids while his wife left. Talk about building a relationship. God bless the stay at home parents and the essential role they full.fill

Michele in VA    Posted 01-25-2004 at 18:55:17       [Reply]  [Send Email]
Good for you, JF. You are doing it the hard way, but it sounds like you may be doing it the best way. I know of homeschooled families where none of the kids end up with a GED or diploma. Sad. And again, there are those whose kids utilize all the free time to take field trips to science museums, etc. OF course, your cattle operation sounds like it might weigh you down from doing that kind of thing. It would be interesting to learn how you run the school.

TO35    Posted 01-21-2004 at 02:41:19       [Reply]  [No Email]
Here's how it works at my house, theres only me and my soon to be seventeen year old daughter.
I get to be a dad and mom....Daughter does dishes keeps her room clean, grades up and helps with the laundry...I do all the rest.

note: If your a single female can cook, and have a john boat or a tractor and some walking around sense and think you might want to get hitched up, send me a email and I send you an application....
he he he he he...

best wishes

Dieselrider    Posted 01-21-2004 at 05:32:27       [Reply]  [No Email]
That brings back some memories. I was a single dad with a little boy for 2 1/2 years, and he was seven when I remarried. I don't know if haveing a daughter would have been harder or not. I'm very glad to have the relationship that Marci and I do now. There was a time when I didn't think I would find the right woman again ever. Our relationship is alot like Tim McGraws song "My Best Friend". Hang in there TO.

Fern(Mi)    Posted 01-21-2004 at 04:11:09       [Reply]  [No Email]
Get a picture of the tractor.

Larry in CO    Posted 01-20-2004 at 22:19:33       [Reply]  [No Email]
Well,,,since we take care of a 2 1/2 year old grandson 5 days a week and we are both close to retirement age, I help out as much as I can around the house. I work 2nd shift 4 days a week 10 hrs a day, so I am around most of the day before heading off to work. Don't cook much but do all trash, vacuuming, some chasing after the little one and when it's summertime I take him with me to the garage to "help" work on the tractors. He loves that and it keeps him out of Grandma's hair for a while. We kinda share grocery shopping as neither one of us like to do it. I don't know if that qualifies as a REAL man or not, but that's the way we do it at our house. Larry

BOSS    Posted 01-20-2004 at 19:33:24       [Reply]  [No Email]
sorry, O don't do womens work. And I don't expect her to do mine. But if it works for you great, I got no problem with it....well, I do cook alot. Is that womens work ? I don't do the dishes or laundry or vacuuming or cleaning.

mike    Posted 01-20-2004 at 18:47:13       [Reply]  [Send Email]
When she mows the yard and runs the tiller in the garden I will do the dishes.

Fern(Mi)    Posted 01-20-2004 at 17:28:21       [Reply]  [No Email]
Taking another look and comparing notes, we've decided, one of us is.

cowgirlj    Posted 01-20-2004 at 17:07:28       [Reply]  [Send Email]
You aren't being taken advantage of at all. You are a good husband, ane a rare breed at that. My husband does all of that and more, in return, I help with the outside chores on our 40 acres and still find time to do extras, like garden and make homemade pickles and bake fresh goods.
I'm sure your wife appreciates you more than you know!

Ludwig    Posted 01-20-2004 at 17:00:11       [Reply]  [No Email]
Well, lesse.
I cook because my wife doesn't appreciate the effort its taken me these last 4 years to get my cast iron pans halfway decent.
I wash dishes because my wife doesn't appreciate the effort its taken me these last 4 years to get my cast iron pans halfway decent.
I fold clothes and put them away because I hate doing laundry.
I vacuum ocasionally because the grit bothers my feet....

The one thing we fight about is who fills the britta water filter in the fridge. I don't know why we both hate doing it so bad but we do.
Itsa good thing to fight about really, if it gets too bad we could always throw it away and get one of them undersink jobbies....

KellyGa    Posted 01-20-2004 at 16:53:03       [Reply]  [No Email]
Well, I don't know. I think I am, so I guess so. I don't have to work, at all. So I get to stay home and do things at my own pace. He brings home lots of money, I keep the house a running with it. He is not much of an outdoorsy type. He loves sports, played soccer, until his body just wouldn't take the punishment anymore, so now he golfs occasionally. I guess we all have our jobs.

I keep house, which includes the laundry, dishes, dusting, mopping, vacuuming, tending the animals, cooking, making the lunches.

My husband works at least 5 12 hour shifts a week, sometimes 6. He MUST take out the trash. He MUST put all his dirty towels and clothes in the hamper. He always takes his dishes to the kitchen when he is done eating.

Shelbys job is to make good grades in school, and keep her room clean.

The dogs job is to be my buddy all day when nobody is home.

The birds are there to sing to me and the cockateil, well, she is just there, but we love her.

The iguana has no job, she is just pretty to look at.

The cats jobs are to keep my feet warm, and leave hairballs for me to step into in the dark in the middle of the night on the way to the bathroom. I might add they do that job all too well.

The fish are there just to look pretty.

Yes, I left out yard work, and maintenaince on the vehicles.

Ian does all the maintenaince on the vehicles. Anything that tears up around the house, he fixes it.

I have my daddy's blood coursing through my veins, so I am an outdoor junkie. I do the yard, the flower beds, and so forth. I don't want Ian to do this, because he will not do it to my satisfaction, and yes, doing the yard gives me great satisfaction, so he just stays outta my way! :)

So, in conclusion, I am married to a real man, casue I don't have to go out and face the cold cruel world of work every day! And I love staying here in the comfort of my own home.

Les    Posted 01-20-2004 at 16:24:05       [Reply]  [No Email]
We have a division of labor that works great for both of us. She cooks and we both eat.

Burlgoat    Posted 01-20-2004 at 16:19:15       [Reply]  [No Email]
I guess you could call me a REAL MAN I help with the house work.I also do all of the grocery shopping.I guess some may call me weird but I do it to help her.I also do a lot of the cooking but not as much as I did before I started adding on to our house. Have a good one.

Vic in Kenefick    Posted 01-20-2004 at 16:11:57       [Reply]  [No Email]

"Senior" personal ads
Some "Senior" personal ads seen in Florida newspapers:
(Who says seniors don't have a sense of humor?)

FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80's, slim, 5'4"
(used to be 5'6"), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion.
Matching white shoes and belt a plus.

LONG-TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband, and
am looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting,
shortness of breath not a problem.

SERENITY NOW: I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and
meditation. If you are the silent type, let's get together, take our
hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.

WINNING SMILE: Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated
flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.

BEATLES OR STONES? I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro
on Saturday nights and still like to play the guitar. If you were a groovy
chick, or are now a groovy hen, let's get together and listen to my
eight-track tapes.

MEMORIES: I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can
remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let's put our two heads together.

MINT CONDITION: Male, 1932, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many
new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn't in running condition,
but walks well

donna in w.v    Posted 01-20-2004 at 15:56:32       [Reply]  [Send Email]
I'm married to a REAL MAN he has no problem pitching in. we are both retired but we have a huge garden and lots of animals so some days i'm helping repair fences and when the garden comes in he's in the kitchen while do the canning. we always believed in the motta "we're in this together"

kandace baucum    Posted 01-20-2004 at 15:55:04       [Reply]  [Send Email]
now, some men may say you are being taken advantage of.......but those are probably the ones that don't even know which cabinet the plates go in, or where the washer and dryer are even located.
i have a good husband,too. you are not alone, although it sounds like you do more than he does, lol. he doesn't touch the bathroom, and only does laundry if i sort it first (which is my fault cause i want everything to stay the color it's suppose to be).
i'm sure your wife really appreciates everything you do to help...
my dad is one of those that thinks cleanig, etc. is woman's i grew up thinking all men were like that. then i got married...boy was i wrong! since my father-in-law retired he does all the cooking, lots of the laundry, and i think most of the grocery shopping, my mother-in-law runs an antique shop. and my brother-in-law is the same as my father-in-law.
it sounds to me like you are a REAL man. don't let anyone tell you different.


laundry?????????    Posted 01-20-2004 at 16:34:23       [Reply]  [No Email]
i bet that big white thing on the back porch is a washing machine!
hmmmmm never seen it work,but i bet that's what is for.
my clean clothes some how end up folded and hung up...........PP
just jokin........really!!!!!!

kandace baucum    Posted 01-21-2004 at 10:24:44       [Reply]  [No Email]
the laundry fairy comes and does it when no one is

Dennis    Posted 01-20-2004 at 15:51:05       [Reply]  [No Email]
"makes her life a little easier"

That's what married life is all about.

Making our spouse's life easier and more enjoyable

I help,    Posted 01-20-2004 at 15:46:30       [Reply]  [No Email]
but don't want too. Our boys are both still in diapers. They ain't much help. So, God help us, I pick up some loose ends, like cooking. We're all skinny. Mike D.

Dieselrider    Posted 01-20-2004 at 15:43:19       [Reply]  [No Email]
Marci makes me! She might not be as big as me but, she's wiry, real wiry.

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