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|bill b va ||
Posted 02-05-2004 at 10:58:27
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A group of rural neighbors wanted to get together on a regular basis and
socialize. As a result, four couples formed a dinner club and agreed to
meet for dinner at a different neighbors' houses each month. Of course the
lady of the house was to prepare the meal.
When it came time for Jimmy and Susie Brown to have the dinner at their
house, like most women, Susie wanted to outdo all the others and prepare a
meal that was the best that any of them had ever been served. A few days
before the big event, Susie got out her cookbook and decided to have
mushroom smothered steak. When she went to the store to buy some fresh
mushrooms, she found the price was more than she wanted to pay. She then
told her husband, "We aren't going to have any fresh mushrooms because they
are too expensive." He said, "Why don't you go down by the creek and pick
some wild mushrooms? There are plenty of them right on the bank of the
creek." She said, "No, I don't want to do that, because I have heard that
wild mushrooms can be poisonous." He then said, "I don't think so. I see
the varmints eating them all the time and it never has affected them."
After thinking about this, Susie decided to give this a try and got in the
pickup and went down to the creek and picked some. She brought the wild
mushrooms back home and washed and sliced them to get them ready go over her
smothered steak. Then she went out on the back porch and got Ol' Spot's bowl
and gave him a double handful. She even put some bacon grease on them to
make them tasty. Ol' Spot didn't slow down until he had eaten every bite.
All morning long Susie watched him and the wild mushrooms didn't seem to
affect him, so she decided to use them.
The meal was a great success, and Susie even hired a lady to help her serve.
She had on a white apron and a little cap on her head. It was first class.
After everyone had finished they all began to kick back and relax and
socialize. The men were visiting and the women started to gossip a bit.
About this time the lady who helped serve came in from the kitchen and
whispered in Susie's ear. She said, "Mrs. Brown, Spot just died."
With this news, Susie went into hysterics. After she finally calmed down,
she called the doctor and told him what had happened. The doctor said, "It
could be bad, but I think we can take care of it. I will call for an
ambulance and a couple of EMTs and I will be there as quick as I can get
there. We will pump out everyone's stomach and everything will be fine. Just
keep them all there and keep them calm." It wasn't long until they could
hear the wail of the siren as the ambulance was coming down the road. When
they got there, the EMTs got out with their suitcases and a stomach pump and
the doctor arrived shortly thereafter.
One by one they took each person into the master bedroom and pumped out
their stomach. After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and
said, I think everything will be fine now, and he left. They were all
looking pretty peaked sitting around the living room, and about this time
the lady who had helped serve the dinner came in and said, "You know, that
fellow that ran over Ol' Spot never even stopped."
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