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25 Signs That You Have Grown-Up
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M.R.    Posted 12-23-2001 at 11:48:42       [Reply]  [No Email]

1. Your potted plants are alive...and you can't smoke a one of them.

2. Having $ex in a twin-sized bed is absurd.

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.

5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.

6. You carry an umbrella. You watch the Weather Channel.

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hookup and breakup.

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as 'dressed up.'

10. You're the one calling the police because those darn kids next door
don't know how to turn down the stereo.

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling $ex jokes around you.

12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's.

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.

17. Dinner and a movie - The whole date instead of the beginning of one.

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 a.m. would severely upset, rather
than settle, your stomach.

19. You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen and antacids, not condoms and
pregnancy test kits.

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good stuff.'

21. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.

22. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces "I'm never going to
drink that much again."

23. Over 90% of the time you spend in front of computer is for real work.

24. You don't drink at home to save money before going to a bar.

25. You read this entire list looking for one sign that doesn't apply to

big e    Posted 09-20-2004 at 13:09:40       [Reply]  [No Email]
What about "you can talk about something else beside the people you slept with in high school"

Cowboy Joe    Posted 12-24-2001 at 20:57:54       [Reply]  [No Email]
I have another Sign that I've grown-up. I GOTTA GET THE H-LL OUT OF THE BIG APPLE.

bob    Posted 12-25-2001 at 19:43:27       [Reply]  [No Email]
i think i have one too . When your wife gives you a gift certifact for a full body massage I must be over the hill

Marine on a Train. MR    Posted 12-23-2001 at 12:03:51       [Reply]  [No Email]
An American Marine, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the German front lines. He had finally been granted R&R and was on a train bound for London.

The train was very crowded, so the marine walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. The only unoccupied seat was directly
adjacent to a well dressed middle aged lady and was being used by her little dog.

The war weary marine asked, "Please, ma'am, may I sit in that seat?" The English woman looked down her nose at the marine, sniffed and said, "You Americans. You are such a rude class of people. Can't you see my little Fifi is using that seat?"

The marine walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the
woman with the dog.

Again he asked, "Please, lady. May I sit there?I'm very tired."???? The English woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, "You Americans! Not only are you rude, you are also arrogant. Imagine!"

The marine didn't say anything else. He leaned over, picked up the little dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat. The woman shrieked and demanded that someone defend her and chastise the marine.

An English gentleman sitting across the aisle spoke up: "You know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you've thrown the wrong b!tch out of the window."

Trapper    Posted 12-23-2001 at 16:24:08       [Reply]  [No Email]
It seem to me you have a very good joke. But it was drawn out like the 12 days of Christmas.

reply to comment about cute joke.    Posted 02-26-2002 at 01:18:17       [Reply]  [Send Email]
I liked his joke. And you should have just said it was funny. The statement that it was drawn out like the 12 days of Christmas is one of the reasons people don't join in on these listing. They are suppose to be enjoyed, without remarks that are rude. Would the joke have sounded better if he said, Marine got on train. grabbed dog, tossed out window, sat down. Told he threw out wrong B..... Remember the saying..If you can't say anything nice...

The orginal Trapper in MI    Posted 12-24-2001 at 05:46:56       [Reply]  [No Email]
I see you like the handle "Trapper" too.
I've been Trapper for a couple years over on the Tractor tales board (and other tractor forums), and only lurk in here occasionally.
I'm in Michigan, where are you?

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