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No R in window
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Cindi    Posted 02-17-2004 at 01:05:22       [Reply]  [No Email]
I cannot abide lazy speech. Now, I'll say ain't on occasion. Sometimes it just fits in a sentence. I say ya'll, instead of 'you all', they're instead of 'they are', and you'll instead of 'you will'. But if there's one thing I can't stand, it's sticking letters in words where they don't belong. For example, driving down the road in the truck, it's not unusual to hear Jake say something like...

"Roll down the win-der, it's hot in here."

My neighbor when I was growing up had two daughters. Linda and Rita. She called them Lind-er and Rit-er and it used to just set my teeth on edge. So every time Jake sticks an R in a word where it doesn't belong, it tends to make me angry, and I react immediately and aggressively.


"Hey! Whatdja do that for?!"

"Jake, I've told you a dozen times...there's no R in window! You sound like a rube!"

"If I want to say wind-er, I'll say wind-er!"


"MOM! Cut it OUT!"

"Well, stop saying that!"

"It's a habit! And if thumping me is your idear of making me stop, it ain't gonna work!"


"Dammit boy, there's no R in IDEA!"

"If you thump me one more time, I swear I'm gonna get out and walk!"

"Well, if you can't talk any better than that, you might be better off. It's embarrassing."

"Everybody I know talks like that!" Rubbing his head.

"I don't! Your sisters don't! Your father doesn't!"

"Well I do, and I can't change it."

"With enough thumping, you'll learn to change it around me. I did not raise you to talk that way, and I won't have people thinking that I let you talk like that. I don't care if I have to thump you right in front of God and everybody. I don't care if I'm still thumping you when you're thirty years old!"

"Okay! WINDOW...IDEA...okay?"

"That's better." I say, satisfied.

We pulled up in front of school, and Jamie, Jake's best friend comes walking up to the driver's side of the truck. He wants to talk to us. He makes a rotating motion with his hand...

"Miss Cindi...roll down yer win-der fer a minute."


"Jamie," I say, cranking on the window handle,
"there's no R in window."


"I said there's no R in window. Window...W I N D O W, see, no R in there."

"Oh, yes ma'am. No R in win-der. I know."

"Well, then why do you SAY it like there's an R in it?"


" say win-der. That's not right. It's win-dow. You wouldn't say rain-ber instead of rain-bow would you?"

"No ma'am."

"Or el-ber instead of el-bow?"

"No ma'am. That sounds stupid."

"Okay. Then you shouldn't be saying win-der instead of window. Right?"

He was penned in a corner and was getting flustered, and I started to feel bad.

"Never mind. What was it that you wanted, Jamie?"

"Oh...uh, there's a fell-er over there that's been tryin' to pick a fight with Jake. Not that Jake couldn't whup him, I just wanted to warn him, that's all."

"Yeah," Jake said, climbing out of the truck, "he's been foll-erin' me around for a week. I don't know what his problem is."

I gave Jake an exasperated look.

"Oh, 'scuse ME, I mean 'FOLL-OWING'."

"Thank you, son."

Jamie just looked puzzled.

I have an 'idear' that I have my work cut out for me, ridding his speech of all unnecessary R's but I think we're makin' progress.

Boyd    Posted 07-25-2005 at 16:48:54       [Reply]  [No Email]
That really was kind of mean, thumping him like that. Speech is speech, take it how you will. If he wants to talk that way then you should let him, there are more important things in life to worry about than a silly thing like that.

KellyGa    Posted 02-17-2004 at 16:35:45       [Reply]  [No Email]
LOL! Welll...I can't say much, I talk like that, sometimes, I say, windah, instead of window..egg comes out ayg, lol. Hey, as long as my baby doesn't come home with her britches hung low, and her underwear hangin out, saying WHASSSUUUPPP! and My Brothu, and my sista, and bobbing her head like a chicken, I am okay with her inheriting my southern slang and accent. We southern speaking types seem to be losing the battle, so don't be too hard on him. :) It's good to know the accent is still around. I know Shelby talks a lot like me.

T D in Tennessee    Posted 02-17-2004 at 06:33:21       [Reply]  [No Email]
maybe you should warsh his outh out with soap

Cindi    Posted 02-17-2004 at 08:43:07       [Reply]  [No Email]
I guess I could take him down in the holl-er and wear out his britches with a will-er switch. (grin)

Tinker    Posted 02-17-2004 at 08:31:18       [Reply]  [No Email]
On the Food Channel is a woman named Paula, from Paula's Home Cooking. She uses the word spatchler for a spatuala. Ever since Sr heard that word he's been calling our spatuala a spatchler. She has a different way of saying Oil too.. I couldn't try to spell that one if I tried.

My Grandfather was a true Norwegian and there's another accent that changes words. Ven its tree turdy I vant to vatch da news. Uffda,you see dat deer yump dat fence over dare?

Redneck    Posted 02-17-2004 at 14:29:23       [Reply]  [No Email]
It burns me about as bad to hear someone saying ouyul for oil or yoose gize for you guys or daag for dog. Plain talk is easily understood. I'll take mine thru the winder please. LOL

Cindi    Posted 02-17-2004 at 08:44:32       [Reply]  [No Email]
It wouldn't be 'earl' would it? (for oil)

steve19438    Posted 02-17-2004 at 06:00:36       [Reply]  [Send Email]
it's radio not rah-dio
it's radiator not rah-deader

Alias    Posted 02-17-2004 at 08:08:48       [Reply]  [No Email]
Yeah Steve, And, how about school instead of
scho-elle. Kids, whadda they no? .......gfp

Cindi    Posted 02-17-2004 at 08:57:25       [Reply]  [No Email]
My girls are the opposite extreme from Jake. Everything is clearly ennunciated. You know how most people say towel with one consonant...comes out like towl. They both say 'tow well'. Sounds like two words. Drives Fred bonkers. I don't know where they got that.

Dieselrider    Posted 02-17-2004 at 04:57:13       [Reply]  [No Email]
The problem is all those folks in New England that do not use R's in their words. Like Bah Habbah, Maine and thah just aw'nt any awws in theh wohds up theh. Well all those unused "R's" from New England must have made theh way down the coast. Maybe they'll head back theh in the spring. :)

Cindi    Posted 02-17-2004 at 09:01:04       [Reply]  [No Email]
Oh I KNOW! We used to have a friend from Maine and I know just what you're saying.

deadcarp    Posted 02-17-2004 at 04:49:22       [Reply]  [No Email]
maybe he dreams of becoming a pirate and pillaging the high seas! "HARRR"

(naw i meant frying an airprane)

Fern(Mi)    Posted 02-17-2004 at 03:35:55       [Reply]  [No Email]
I'm wondering if'en learning only one language will get your son into a fat-lipping exchange?
It all sounds like another gap in generation comunication.
Isn't nurturing our future leaders fun?

Les    Posted 02-17-2004 at 02:49:35       [Reply]  [No Email]
The R in window should be the P in swimming.

Cindi    Posted 02-17-2004 at 08:51:13       [Reply]  [No Email]
Should it be yell-er too? Lol!

TO35    Posted 02-17-2004 at 02:43:55       [Reply]  [No Email]
Shhhhhhhhhhh or you have my daughter thumping me on the I catch myself saying stuff like that, but usually its while joking around with the daughter....I promise I'll do better if you don't tell her about the thumping

TO....who should use better english.

Cindi    Posted 02-17-2004 at 09:02:55       [Reply]  [No Email]
Just keep yopu a little pill-er handy to soften the blows. (grin)

jeanette    Posted 02-17-2004 at 05:46:22       [Reply]  [No Email]
here's one for you cindi: WARSH there is no r in wash either. my aunt was on the tv show animal planet and she said warsh right on tv, how embarrassing.

Cindi    Posted 02-17-2004 at 08:46:41       [Reply]  [No Email]
Lol Jeanette! That made me laugh out loud. I can just see you squirming over that one.

~Lenore    Posted 02-17-2004 at 08:17:26       [Reply]  [No Email]
Wow, that brings up memories!
My aunt was a college educated school teacher who spoke proper English, with one exception.

She would say the pencil "pernt" broke!
Now she would POINT out errors, she had JOINTS in her fingers. She would POINT out all the states on a map. No matter many how many times I tried she would not say point when speaking of the tip of her pencil. I guess it was one of those errant north eastern Rs that escaped all the way down to the gulf coast!

Cindi    Posted 02-17-2004 at 08:50:02       [Reply]  [No Email]
Now isn't that a New York thing? I mean Archie Bunker used to say...'get to the pernt Edith'. Remember?

I'ts kind of like one of my Spanish freinds will say share for chair and choose for shoes...?? How hard is it, Erma, I say, to reverse those and say chair and shoes? She swears she can't do it.

Alias    Posted 02-17-2004 at 11:49:14       [Reply]  [No Email]
And the list goes on & on. How about Archie referring to the head as a "Terlett". And, my frien Guido from Italy adding an "A" to ice to get "Icea water".

Jet9N    Posted 02-17-2004 at 09:44:54       [Reply]  [No Email]
Kinda reminds me of when JFK took the r's out of
Havahd (Harvard) and put them into Cuberr during
the missile crisis.


Cindi    Posted 02-17-2004 at 09:55:15       [Reply]  [No Email]
LMAO! Very fuuunny.

sdg    Posted 02-17-2004 at 09:07:08       [Reply]  [No Email]
My mom's family is from Mo, and my aunts have to spell ranch and french when the order dressing on thier salads, people can't understand em. And living up here in Ny, people know I ain't from here. I hear it all the time. "you're a southerner are you not?" Youns is what I say you all, pertnear, self explainitory, and reckon, had to teach my husband my language so he could understand my and my family. : )

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