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Kountry Life Humor

How to Chase off Suitors
You hear of countless ways dads have kept boys away from their daughters. They've used everything from shotguns to guard dogs. I got some help one night from the neighbor's pooch. I was awakened from a deep sleep. You hear a sound and can't tell if it was real or a part of your dream. My wife heard the same sound and poked me. I laid there waiting for another sound and heard it again. I crawled out of the bed, still half asleep, and stumbled over high healed shoes to the window. I discovered the neighbor's dog had come to clean up a plate someone had left on the back porch from the evening's supper. 'HEYAAAH!!!', I screamed. 'GET OUT OF THERE!!!!!, GO ON HOME!!!!, HOO, HOO, HOO!!!' The poor dog was too frightened to see where the ruckus was coming from. He just put his tail between his feet and ran. I could see that the yard lights were still shining from around the corner of the house. 'Becky left the lights on again,' I told my wife. I went to the front of the house to turn off the lights and saw a pickup still in the driveway. 'He's still here,' I announced to my wife. That's when she informed me that they are on the front porch swing; and it was only 11;00, before midnight. In five minutes I heard the truck start and drive off, and my daughter came in the house. My wife and I reminisced on how I might have handled it had her daddy scared me many years ago when I came calling. We had a good laugh the rest of the night and the next morning I did some apologizing. The moral of the story? Get help from the little guy.

Raymond Moczygemba, from Tx, entered 2000-12-22

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