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Country Talk Discussion Board

A Woman's Facts About Men


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Posted by Ollie on June 20, 2002 at 07:42:16 from (199.156.154.246):

A Woman's Facts About Men
==========================

1. Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.

2. Men who have pierced ears are better
prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

3. Marrying a divorced man is ecologically
responsible. In a world where there are more women
than men, it pays to recycle.

4. Men are very confident people. My husband
is so confident that when he watches sports on
television, he thinks that if he concentrates he can help his team. If the team is in trouble, he
coaches the players from our living room, and
if they're really in trouble, I have to get off the phone in case they call him.

5. Men like phones with lots of buttons. It
makes them feel important.

6. Men love to be the first to read the
newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is
upsetting to their psyches.

7. All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. I
sleep with one under my pillow, instead of a gun.

8. A good place to meet a man is at the dry
cleaners. These men usually have jobs and bathe.

9. All men hate to hear "We need to talk about
our relationship." These seven words strike fear in the heart of even General Schwarzkopf.

10. Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a
man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.

11. Men have an easier time buying bathing
suits. Women have two types: depressing and more
depressing. Men have two types: nerdy
and not nerdy.

12. Men have higher body temperatures than
women. If your heating goes out in winter, I
recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like
portable heaters that snore.

13. Women take clothing much more seriously
than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party
and say "Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed; get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black
tuxedo."

14. Most men hate to shop. That's why the
men's department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.

15. If a man prepares dinner for you and the
salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.

16. If you're dating a man who you think might
be "Mr. Right," and if he a) got older, b) got a new job, or c) visited a psychiatrist, you are in for a nasty surprise. The cocoon-to-butterfly theory only works on cocoons and butterflies.

17. No man is charming all of the time. Even
Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.

18. When four or more men get together, they
talk about sports.

19. When four or more women get together, they
talk about men.

20. Men are less sentimental than women. No
man has ever seen the movie THE WAY WE WERE twice,
voluntarily.

21. Most women are introspective: "Am I in
love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled?"
Most men are outrospective: "Did my team win? How's my car?"

22. If a man says, "I'll call you," and he
doesn't, he didn't forget... he didn't lose your
number... he didn't die. He just didn't want to call you.

23. Getting rid of a man without hurting his
masculinity is a problem. "Get out" and "I never
want to see you again" might sound like a challenge. If you want to get rid of a man, I suggest saying, "I love you... I want to marry
you... I want to have your children." Sometimes they leave skid marks.

24. Men are self-confident because they grow
up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad
self-images because they grow up identifying with
Barbie.

25. Male menopause is a lot more fun than
female menopause. With female menopause you gain
weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause - you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.

26. Men forget everything; women remember
everything.

27. That's why men need instant replays in
sports. They've already forgotten what happened.

- Woman Author Unknown -


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