Tell me this won't happen to us

Posted by TnT on May 15, 2008 at 13:55:10 from (205.188.116.206):

LOST IN THE DARNDEST PLACES:

An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her
car
has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her
situation to
the dispatcher: 'They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the
brake pedal and even the accelerator!' she cried.

The dispatcher said, 'Stay calm. An officer is on the way.'

A few minutes later, the officer radios in. 'Disregard.' He says.
'She got in the back-seat by mistake.'

________________________________________________________________________

FAMILY

Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together. One
night
the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She
yells
to the other sisters, 'Was I getting in or out of the bath?'
The 94-year-old yells back, 'I don't know. I'll come up and see.'
She starts up the stairs and pauses 'Was I going up the stairs or
down?'
The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening
to
her sisters. She shakes her head and says, 'I sure hope I never get
that
forgetful, knock on wood.' She then yells, 'I'll come up and help
both
of you as soon as I see who's a t the door.'
____________________________
____________________________________________

'I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!'

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine
March day. One remarked to the other, 'Windy, isn't it?'

'No,' the second man replied, 'it's Thursday.'

And the third man chimed in, 'So am I. Let's have a beer.'

_______________________________________________________________________

LITTLE LADY:

A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing
home.
As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say
'Supersex.' She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair.
Flipping her gown at him, she said, 'Supersex.'

He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, 'I'll take
the
soup.'

_____________________________________________________________________ __

OLD FRIENDS:


Now this one is just too Precious...LOL !

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the
years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures.
Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a
week to play cards. One day, they were playing cards when one
looked at the other and said, 'Now don't get mad at me .. I
know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of
your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it.
Please tell me what your name is'
Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just
stared and glared at her. Finally she said, 'How soon do you need to
know?'
______ ______
__________________________________________________________

SENIOR DRIVING

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone
rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him,
'Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the
wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!'

'Heck,' said Herman, 'It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!'

_______________________________________________________________________

DRIVING

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could
barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they
came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went
on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself 'I
must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red
light.' After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection
and the light was red again. Again, they went right through. The
woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been
red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was
getting nervous. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light
was red and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman
and said, 'Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red
lights in a row? You could have killed us both!'
Mildred turned to her and said, 'Oh, crap, am I driving ?'

Follow Ups:

• Re: Tell me this won't happen to us Dandelion 17:42:10 05/15/08 (0)

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