Country Living
Country Living, Country Skills
Country People

KountryLife.com - A Country Living Resource and Community
Community
Message Board
Country Topics
Trading Post
Memory Lane
Country Skills
Country Cooking

Channels
Gardening
Livestock
The Kitchen
Machinery
Tools

Photographs
Photo Gallery
Vintage Photos
Special Collections

Fun
Country Humor
Country Sounds
Coloring Book
Interactive Story

Farm Tractors
Pictures
Tractor Parts
Tractor Manuals

Miscellaneous
Classic Trucks
Antique Tractors
Modern Tractors
Site Map
Links Page
Contact Us

  
Country Talk Discussion Board

Letter to God


[ Expand ] [ View Replies ] [ Post Reply ] [ Return to Forum ]

Posted by Hop on September 09, 2009 at 14:20:53 from (66.207.8.108):

TO: GOD

FROM: THE DOG

Dear God: Is it on purpose our names are the same, only reversed?

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?


Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?


Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a Dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?


Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad Dog?


Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?


Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.


Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?


Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember in order to be a good Dog:

1) I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2) I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3) The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.

4) The sofa is not a 'face towel'.

5) The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

6) I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

7) Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.

8) I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table .

9) I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

10) I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

11) I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.

12) The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.


P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?



Replies:




Post A Reply

Name:
E-Mail:

Subject: Re: Letter to God

Comments:

Optional Link URL:
Link Title:
Optional Image URL:

Email Notification: If you check this box, email will be sent to you whenever someone replies to this message. Your email address must be entered above to receive notification. This notification will be cancelled automatically after 2 weeks.



[Home] [Search]

Copyright © 1999-2013 KountryLife.com
All Rights Reserved
A Country Living Resource and Community